Shades of the Prison-House

Long Overdue Update

2009-05-24T22:43:00.002-07:00

Holy Jebus, it's been a long time since I have jabbered pointlessly into the internet. Though that should say a little something about what I have been up in the intervening six months.

Relevant facts:
-found a job at Bashas' through glorious, glorious nepotism
-worked that job
-got a job at Citi as a phone jockey
-was Charlie Brown-ish on whether or not I should take the job
-took the job, which I start on Tuesday
-still live with the folks but don't feel as lame about it anymore

I've reached a point where I am seriously taking stock of my life and where I want it to go, something that has all the excitement and allure to an outside observer as snail racing, I am sure. But I feel better about where I am now than I have in a long time. It's been a year since I graduated, and it is only now that I feel like I know where my life might head. I'd reference some cheesy song at this point, but my brain is too clogged with snot. Mmmm, snot.

Pics of Shoes

2008-12-01T23:46:00.003-07:00

I like taking pictures of my shoes with other people's cameras. Most people who have known me for any considerable amount of time know this and very likely had it demonstrated to them.

For maximum amusement for me, this is best done in secret, but it has, unintentionally, become a "thing" about me. To illustrate this, I supply an anecdote: At my sister's wedding in Wisconsin, I was hunted down by her friend and college roommate at the reception, so that I could take a picture with her camera of my shoes (boring, black tux ones since I was in the wedding party) before the night was over. I obliged, but it felt weird being asked to do it. It's a bothersome, little brother thing that I do, and it didn't feel right what with it being requested and all. The fun of pestering is that it is not entirely welcome.

Weddings are a great time for this activity. There is a lot of commotion and/or hubbub, so it is easy to swipe and snap. It is also a time of dress-up, so I'm not wearing my usual Chucks or whatnots. Until just tonight, I thought it was at a wedding that this started. I had given a disposable at my step-sister's marriage and told to take some supplemental shots of the pre-wedding pictures. In the middle of all the pictures of Craig and Olivia, I included (most graciously, I thought) a shot of the front of my thrift store dress pants and solid black All Stars. (I was less fancy then)

Ryan Trivial Pursuit Update:
It actually began prior to that, end-of-junior-year-ish of high school. It is difficult to tell based on the photo. While the orange Converse are indicative of that time, it is tough to say because the date in the file info is not present. I include it here for the record.

The floor is the floor of my then-bestie, Ren's, bedroom.

I will end here my harrowing tale of self-revelation.

PS: Those pants I am wearing are from Hollister. Before you judge me, remember that we've all had questionable preferences in the past. I used to shop at American Eagle and Hollister as well as listen to Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. We can all grow as people.

What to Do? What to Do?

2008-11-08T16:59:00.002-07:00

Having three months of job-free downtime has the tendency to lead to a lot of thinking. Musing, if you will. I constantly joke about the uselessness of my degree and how advisers and the career center attempted to convince us that English is major open to numerous career opportunities. The trouble? Even if what they say is true, when I look over the list, there is nothing that I actually want to do. Nothing. Even writing itself doesn't feel quite there for me.

What's a liberal arts fellow to do? Any job I manage to land will be completely unrelated and only for financial support, so I still find myself wondering what in Loki's name I want to do with my life.

Recently, in an attempt to stir up some material for a story, I made a list of things that mattered to me the most. It wasn't helpful in its intended regard, but it did reveal something to me. Social justice is far more important to me than anything else. This is why I am so upset about the outcome of many of the ballot measures in this election cycle.

The question I now must ask myself: How does one become an activist? Secondarily: Can I make a living doing it?

I'd like to do work for a nonprofit, but I don't know how to find them. As I understand it, Tucson is actually a hotbed for nonprofits, but they seem to be hiding.

For now I have to go back to looking for a job with ever-lowering standards. Forgive me if I don't pump my fist in the air with enthusiasm.

We Are Not the Enemy

2008-10-23T20:49:00.003-07:00

Please send work-safe photos with "We are not the enemy" somewhere in the image to wearenottheenemy@gmail.com. LGBT pals and groups are welcome; couple status is not required.

For a hearty dose of awesomeness, check it out. I think this is an awesome idea. I'd like to see billboards with similar pictures and message all over the country.

Institutionalized discrimination is not cool, mmkay? Stay classy Arizona and vote No on Prop 102. It's already illegal here for same sex couples to marry; do we really want anti-gay discrimination written directly into our state constitution?

You know those silly Amendments to the US Constitution: Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Nineteen, Twenty-Four, and Twenty-Six? Amendments are for righting wrongs, not compounding them.

Set the Field "Ryan" to the Value of "Failure"

2008-10-15T19:59:00.004-07:00

I got an email today from Arizona Lithographers. I include the email here:

Ryan,

Thank you so very much for your time in interviewing with us for our CSR position. We did choose another candidate. You interview well and certainly come across as an intelligent and thoughtful person.

We wish you the very best in your search for a career. Thank you for your interest in Arizona Lithographers.

Sincerely,
Renda

So, I am an intelligent, thoughtful person who is still unemployed. This is for the suck. Can a brother get a break? I feel more and more like Princeton from Avenue Q as days go by. It can't be that hard to find a job. Perhaps I am being too picky. I am about two steps away from applying at the Walmart by my house. This is a sad state of affairs.

And this unemployment thing is making me a serious wet blanket. It's become the dominating force of my existence, and I declare that lame. It is duck with lamesauce.

Bollocks.

Wuh tuh eff? Snake?!

2008-09-25T12:03:00.004-07:00

I found this snake while I was cleaning about my room today. I would like to echo my title and say again, "Wuh tuh eff?"

I already have an anxiety about having my feet on the floor; I don't like thinking about what might be down there outside my range of vision. I do not appreciate your invasion, Señor Serpiente.

I commend myself on my wilderness/survival skills at catching this bad mammajamma. You may now refer to me as Jeremiah Johnson. My wardrobe shall consist of nothing but leathers and furs (all of which I killed myself), and I shall smell strongly of musk, the scent of Man.

I'll own that I am afraid of snakes. They creep me out. There is not enough to them. A spine and organs does not an animal make. I tried to figure out what kind of snake it was but to no avail. Any herpetologists out there?

But on an impulse I don't understand, I don't want to just let this snake go outside. In a weird way I want to tame it and teach it the ways of humankind. It could be my friend and ambassador to the Animal Kingdom.

I can do that without touching it, right?

New Library

2008-09-21T20:28:00.002-07:00

I went to the grand opening of the new library that's within walking distance of the house I grew up in. I would have loved to have that there when I was a young chitlin. I loves me some library, so I anxiously awaited the announcement of its opening. The grand opening was finally announced for September 13th, so I made a point of going. It was nice, if a little dry. I did find myself disappointed by three things in particular, which I ranked in order of irksomeness.

1) The library itself is very small. Very few shelves and too much space given over to computers.

2) A prayer was said during the ceremony. I found this inappropriate at the opening of a government building. This is a clear violation of the separation of church and state. The sentiments expressed were nice enough, but the shrouding in religious language left a bad taste in my mouth.

3) The grand "opening" was held nearly two months after the library actually opened, which was at the end of July. I'd been watching the library website since June to see when it would open, but it was never posted. I'd been waiting for all that time for nothing. That is what upsets me the most.

Other than that, it is nice to have a library so close, even though I will probably not frequent it much at all. There are very few chairs or tables that are not for the computers. The whole place is essentially shelves and computer workstations, which disappoints me and leaves me nowhere to do any writing.

Phooey.

Port Land Adventures: Wrap-Up Edition

2008-08-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Wellz, I am back in Tucson and surprisingly glad of that. I think I actually kind of missed it here. Portland is delightful and all with its charming houses and kickin' cafes, but I never realized how much Tucson is my home. As someone who always feels very temporary, this is a big deal. So I don't resent being back. I do find myself recovering from all the danged walking--my variegated bodily segments are sore.

I have learned wisdoms about the magical kingdom of Portland which I will now impart unto thee:

-Portland is a locus sans pigeons.
-There are lots of homeless peoples but few buskers. There are dark haired ladies outside of Powell's who offers a song in exchange for change.
-Zoos, no matter what state they happen to be in, are totally kickass fo' rizzle.
-McDonald's is shamed by the awesomeness of local cafes and restaurants. They hardly show their face. I only saw the one. Starbucks is similarly put to shame.

And I am starting to get more settled into my arrangement. I am bringing more stuff out of boxes, and I even bought a piece of furniture. It's a pretty keen desk. There is still a lot to do, but I am allowing myself to become a little less temporary-minded about my living situation.

Now all that is left is for me to find a job. I am frequenting Craigslist, but if anyone hears about any opportunities, please let me know.

Port Land Adventures: Day Two Point One. Non-Self-Pitying Edition.

2008-08-26T20:43:00.002-07:00

So here is what I did today that didn't involve being way sad and introspective. My wacky sleep schedule strikes again! Woke up at several time but forced myself to stay in bed until 8:30. I started my day by going to Powell's. I am in hearts with that store now. I bought two books! Huzzah!

Then I bought a TriMet pass for ze public transportation. After that I ate lunch at this totally kicking Japanese/Korean place. They had nummy nums. From there I headed over to investigate the Vintage Clothing Descriptionist job. Unfortunately, they already filled the post. *sad faces*

Because I am lame and out of shape, I was pretty pooped at this point. I went back to the hostel to look more on the webbertubes for jobs and apartments. That was the point where I really started questioning what I was doing with life and all that nonsence.

Dinner time! I had a wonderful bacon cheeseburglar at Blue Moon. More Powell's! I bought presents for peoples. Prepare for that.

It is now nine o'clock, and I am lame and tired, so it is bedtime. My plan for tomorrow includes the Japanese Garden and the Oregon Zoo. Woo for zoo!

Port Land Adventures: Day Two. Tail Between the Legs Edition.

2008-08-26T16:19:00.003-07:00

I crashed today. I crashed hard. In all my fetishizing my move to Portland, it has now occurred to me that I never asked myself some very important questions. Namely:

1) Do I actually want to leave Tucson?
2) Why Portland, honestly? What's with the romanticizing?
3) What is it that I actually want to do? Can I only do that something outside of Tucson?

I've changed a lot since high school, and I don't like all of those changes. Portland became for me something of a talisman. It became my magic bullet.

There are no magic bullets.

Portland looks like a wonderful town from what I've seen of it, but I think the time has come for me to be more realistic. Portland was an escape. At this point in my life, I need to grapple with reality. I have too many questions I didn't know existed. I probably should add the need to integrate myself into a new environment to that. I have a hard enough time making friends as it is.

So, the moral of the story is, I'll probably be coming back to Tucson earlier than expected, maybe Thursday. Though I might stick around for some vacationing without all the stress of job hunting and the like. I mean, I might as well, as long as I'm up here. Still, another four days of puttering around town might be a little much.

Everything is wonderful!

Port Land Adventures: Day One

2008-08-26T09:15:00.003-07:00

The flights went off without a hitch. I got into PDX around 2:00ish. (Another shout-out to Amanda and Jake who are totally killer) From there, I took the MAX train into town. It wiggled. It wiggled a lot. My suitcase fell down once. I checked in at the hostel after a 15-minute walk or so from the train stop. It was green and not flat.

I loafed for a bit but got into doing to some more job searching. When I got sick of that, I decided to take a walk around the area. I estimate it must have been around two or three miles, all told. I kept an eye out for ‘Now Hiring’ signs and apartment complexes that were currently leasing. Plenty of apartments, but the only ‘Hiring’ sign I saw was in the window of Hollywood Video. I have not ruled it out.

I came back to the hostel and drafted an email for a potential job that wasn't entirely molded from bullshit. We’ll see what happens with that. At this point I got hungry, so I sojourned for vittles. As it turned out, I accidentally ate pretentious pasta. I poked into this Italian place, and before I realized my mistake, I was seated. It had menu items at full dollar values. By then, I was too uncomfortable to admit my mistake and leave to get a burger or something, so I wound up getting a spaghetti and meatball appetizer and a disarmingly potent lemon drop. That thing was beastly.

Then I went to bed around nine because I am apparently an old man. Stay tuned for more wacky adventures! Day two shall hold, at the very least, applying at Hollywood video, a car wash, and checking out the vintage clothing job. Yowzers!

My Sleep Schedule Has Become Wack

2008-08-20T09:34:00.002-07:00

I repeat: wack. And not in the way usual for me. Earlier in the summer, I was able to avoiding going nocturnal again, Thor be praised. I've been going to bed by or before midnight and have been waking up around 5:00 am for the past few days. I wake up rested and ready to go with no desire to lounge around in bed until ten or eleven o'clock. I get out of bed, maybe do a little writing, catch up on my RSS feeds, eat some breakfast, and then carry on with my day.

So I ask: what is wrong with me? This isn't something I sought; it just happened. I'm starting to think this is another sign that I am *lowers voice* ...maturing. You know, like as an adult. I've also been drinking more water, reading more, cutting way back on junk food and soda, and been more financially responsible. The heck? And I didn't even say to myself, 'I should start doing these things.' It was a shift in instincts. I wanted to start doing these things.

Anyone else a little freaked out?

It's not as though I am overly upset by these new developments, they just snuck up on me. It's almost as though I care about things now and am growing up.

lolbutts

Hostel

2008-08-16T16:28:00.002-07:00

I booked my reservation for my scouting trip to Portland. I'm staying in a hostel in the northwest part of town which a short distance from downtown and west of the Pearl District. So we're clear, that actually means very little to me; I just thought I'd mention it. I'm booked for six days starting the twenty-fifth and ending the thirty-first. I'll be coming home that Saturday.

On this adventure I am hoping to secure both employment and housing. Succeeding that, I will fly back, shoot around some farewells, pack up the auto, and drive the auto up to my new place of residence. If all goes well, I'll be living in Portland in little more than two weeks.

Without going too much into it, I am very excited. I've been on this up-and-down cycle of anxiety over this since I found out I'd be losing my job at the end of July. I'm still a little jittery and rightly so. We're talking a major life change on the order which I have never before experienced or initiated. And for a moment of back patting and horn tooting: I am proud of myself for doing something that isn't just me floating into something new. Proactive! Motivated!

Is this what it feels like to be an adult? I'm thinking I might like it. Of course, there's every likelihood I'll wind up in some nothing job just to make rent and bills, but adults do that too.

:(

2008-07-20T00:09:00.002-07:00

Slow internets... My sole consolation is that I named my newly created wireless network "ponyprincess." It's a small token, but it is what I have to work with. Downloads that used to take seconds on cable now can take 15-20 minutes on DSL. Browsing is still fine, though I've noticed load times on larger webcomic images. Enough whining from me tonight.

sad face emoticon

2008-07-14T15:24:00.000-07:00

Woe has come to Fort Ryan. I’ve been told when my last day of employment shall be. As of August the First, I shall be more shiftless than is usual or fitting. This may energize my departure schemes, as a fellow cannot be expected to pay bills without any honestly-come-by income, and I am too whimsical for the rough and tumble world of black-market circuses. I am ill-equipped for a life of hooliganry, so if anyone knows of any jobs and/or rackets that range in illegality from only mildly to not at all, I’d be appreciative if you let me know the skinny.

Relocation Excitation

2008-07-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

I am perched upon the verimost cusp of moving. And I think there is one thing that nearly everyone can agree on: moving is not splendid. There are sure to be dissenters, but we shall put these people down as being totally crackers and we will have none of their jackanapes.

Most of my things are packed, but I haven’t yet gotten to the exciting part of discovering food in the cupboards that I’ve had since I moved in and forgot about (I’m saving the fun bits for last).

I will say this for moving: it gives me license to be at sixes and sevens—boxes and bits of debris everywhere and no apology forthcoming. That is the only positive thing I can think of, especially when the process calls for moving large articles up flights of stairs for which I blame Jesse’s new apartment.

There are things I could say about moving back in with the folks for a spell, but the situation is only temporary. I’m likely to spend as much time out of the house as possible, time that I will try to use for some advantageous scribbling and jots. If the new library is open by there, I’ll spend a fair amount of time recessed in any one of its available nooks. I haven’t been in public libraries much of late, but they have to be less of a douchebaggy place to write than coffee houses.

Tidbit: Juno has reinvigorated my youthful passion for orange Tic Tacs. I fear I am in for days of orange tinted tongues with accompanying tangy fresh breath.

I have been remiss

2008-07-10T02:12:00.002-07:00

I am a festering puss gland filled with the vile putrescence of neglectivity. There is something dishearteningly dissuasive about graduating with a Creative Writing degree when it comes to actually doing any writing. The whole idea of this blog was to get me used to writing on a regular basis. Instead it has acted as an avenue for the occasional musing or to grouse about Christianity.

My point is this: no more! I got together with a chum of mine today, who is one of my writerly friends, and though I was fully aware I'd been avoiding what is supposed to be my life and driving passion, the sad truth of it hadn't fully struck me until I admitted it to a kindred spirit.

I have allowed myself to sink into the drudgery of the sleep-eat-work routine. Today marks the day that I try and shimmy and shake my way out of it. Hear me blag, and hear me good: I'muh gonna write you up nice. I's gonna whisper sweet somethings into your ear and fill you with the turgidity of muh words. Brace yourself, it's about to get erudite all up in this bitch.

Respek.

Good Idea, or Best Idea?

2008-05-06T19:19:00.001-07:00

.
.
.
Best Idea.

Am I So Vain?

2008-02-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so if think that the song "You're So Vain" is about the guy Carly Simon says "I bet you think this song is about you" to, does that make me vain by extension?

Also, do I have to forfeit my man tackle if the first association I have with that song is that scene near the end of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? I think I probably do.

Shucks.

My Geosciences Notes for Today

2008-01-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Today I was a very responsible and diligent student, and took some serious notes that were very thorough. I can make plate tectonics fun! Here's a sample:

It is cold in here. I am cold. [Bryan: It's not cold.] You lie. You lie like and lying liar. I am also tired. There needs to be food in my belleh. I might just have to bust out my emergency rations. I could really go for a sammich right about now. A sammich with salami. Genoa salami. Mit der mustard. Yurms!

Knowledge! That was science, just then. We have learned science. We are scientists. The Earfs are moving.

i r the earth. i r serious planet.

[Something about ridges] Ruffles have ridges, too. Har har… “rigid.” Turgid.

[On the PowerPoint] A VISCOELASTIC SOLID. NOT LIQUID!! (That is vurry importint to know. Distinction!)

Just say “no” to Comic Sans. [Which a college professor has used for her notes presentation]

She says “may-zure.” Measure. May-dzure.

South America is faster than us. They’s be getting’ uppity.

My nipples are starting to become an immediate concern. Had to zip up the jacket. I could direct the PowerPoint with those bad boys.

Tonga. Tonganese. Polynesian. Islands. Eye lands. The land of tonganese eyes.

I r learning plake tectonics!

The asthenosphere is a viscoelastic solid; it is so totally not a liquid. That’s just being straight ig’nint, dog.

There are also Vikings [in Iceland]. Vikings who enjoy the rejuvenating feeling they receive from a nice soak in the natural hot springs. Geolog-tastic refreshment!

A continental rift is the solution to illegal immigration. Protect our borders!! Geology is on America’s side. It wasn’t at first, but then the Freedom Eagle™ laid a bit of the “smack” down.

I will relax in the last few minutes. It would be easier for me to relax if I could enjoy a refreshing soak with a Viking. If they could soak so nicely, why is it that they raped and pillaged so much? I bet all they would have needed was a good masseuse. Rub that stress out, you hulking lug, you. It’s also weird that people from the Scandinavian area are pretty much the nicest people you’re ever gonna meet. That’s hope for the descendants of the people who raped and pillaged America. Maybe we’ll be charming one day.
Though, I think YouTube is going to prevent that from ever happening.

Chilean. Chillin’. Chill-eh-in. You be illin’. You tell it like it is Run DMC, you tell it like it is.

RING OF FIRE!

Now you know about plate tectonics, too. I have have imparted science to you. Can you feel it? That wonderful swarmy feeling in your brainpan? That is science squirming around in there.

You are welcome.

John Lennon Song Title

2008-01-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Whilst being oh-so-very productive at work, I had an interesting line of thought:

Science is all wonderful and explanatory, and it has that pesky tendency to do away with all the mysticism that was cause for arise in god-conjuring. Having that as an advantage, what would happen if a community was constructed with absolutely no mention of any religion or religious belief?

It makes me wonder if some dreamer in the community might concoct some form of theistic philosophy. There's a possibility, but with science demystifying all the reasons for having thought up spirits and gods in the first place, I don't think it is all that likely. Even if it did happen, I couldn't imagine the idea being treated with all that much credibility. It seems so novel an idea that no one has any thoughts of any god when we live in a world where so much is informed by theistic muddle.

What would that community be like? A nice place to live, I’d think. I’d imagine there would be a much healthier attitude about sexuality. Death would no longer be a subject that’s treated as borderline taboo. Morality would be based on empathy, and policies would be made as a result of logic with the benefit of evidence. Hey, and no more gender inequality based on sacred text supported patriarchy (that's one of my favorites).

You can’t really call it an atheistic community because there would be no theistic beliefs to be without. I do understand the problem with providing a selective heritage, but in this case, I think it would be beneficial. The biggest loss would be a whole lot of really good literature.

Although, I guess you could change the context, and teach all the religions as purely fictional. That way Paradise Lost would not need to be excluded.

This is why I’d like to be some kind of dictator, so I could set up these sorts of grand societal experiments.

(All this is tangentially connected to me having read this blog post)

The Thing of My Happiness

2007-11-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Through clever manipulation of the waiting list, my insistent hounding of my adviser, and the inexplicableness of the English department actually adding sections instead of canceling them, I have gotten into another semester of Advanced Fiction. That means another semester of the academic system kicking my ass into actually doing some writing.

Of course, I'd feel better about it if I was actually able to attend the last meeting of my current workshop, but my sisters have seen fit to get married so friggin' close to each other. My bridesboy duties call me to Wisconsin. I'd hate to have all the manscaping I did to look good in the dress go to waste.

But overall, I'm just stoked about getting a chance to have my slacking bottom wound up into gear. I need me one o' them wind-up keys to shove into my behind every so often to get me into gear. Effective plus exciting. Everybody wins.

Alert the CDC! I am diseases!

2007-11-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. Awesome. This'll make two out of the last three birthdays where I'll be infected with critters. For twenty, I had mono, what an adventure in laying in bed like a rutted fish. This year, I'll be serving up some unknown throat bid'ness. Nursemom says I ought to go to Urgent Care to get it checked out to see if I need antibiotics if it's strep. I'll do that tomorrow during the time I'd normally be at work, which I've taken off because I have a history of working myself too hard when I'm sick.

I wish I had me some Airborne. And as long as I'm wishing for stuff, I'd also like to wish for the stuff to actually do something. Don't mind me, when I get sick, I get more upset at useless supplements like Airborne and echinacea. I'm bitter like that.

On the looking up and up, I received a bit of lovlies today. I'm officially registered for another semester of Advanced Fiction. There's another semester of the academic setting forcing me to get some writing done in store for this guy. *thumbs in*

imagine this here thingum

2007-11-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

I'd like for us to to go on a wondrous mind adventure on the magic carpet of our imaginations. Grab your fruit snacks and juice boxes, and away we go!:

Let's say that the ruling elite of this country came together to publish a book that was basically a serious of essays about how the world worked and how it ought to be run. It's a book that serves their interests, maintains the legitimacy of their position, and reinforces their methods and ideology.

Now fast forward a few thousand years and zoom halfway across the world. That book is no longer opinion but considered to be the end-all of all instruction and morality, though when it was written, it was just the opinions of those already in power. While it would likely make some very good points and may very well have been useful at the time it was written, ultimately it's a text that was written to be relevant for a civilization so far removed from the one that reveres it that using it as a road map of unquestionable truth to base every decision on would be pretty dang-ole preposterous.

You'd think, huh?

Poster for Ryan

2007-10-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

I can only describe my feelings as "way fuggin' stoked."

It will soon grace my walls (once it makes it across the Atlantic). Damn you John Allison, I would go gay and go British for you. *whimper*

Happy Columbus Day

2007-10-08T13:36:00.000-07:00

I swear, if I knew that exploiting an indigenous people would land me a holiday, I would have started doing so at a much younger age. Now I'm just playing catch-up.

I mean, come on, I have a reputation to live up to.

In Which I am a Slacker

2007-09-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

I am a slacker. This fact is inescapable. I've come across few people who were genuinely motivated. Everyone else is like me to whatever degree. I imagine myself somewhere on the spectrum between ready-to-take-on-the-world and stoned-and-hungry-on-the-couch.

My noggin's been a-workin' lately about life, the universe, and everything. And any introspection on my part soon leads to thoughts of Life After College™. Until now, it's been grad school in some locale outside the southwest.

Except not.

There is no graduate school on my foreseeable horizon. Granted my horizon rarely stretches past a few weeks. That's me: few expectations and fewer worries. Does that make me Timon? If so, I need to find my Pumbaa. Jesse could be my Pumbaa. His bottomgas is most certainly foul enough, but he has direction (that sum'bitch) and is nowhere near rotund enough.

My life plan as it stands today: live, write, scratch at stuff, train attack kittens, and die by meteorite leaving my squalid legacy to my ruthlessly adorable feline companions.

Aeroplane Woes

2007-08-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

I got to the Orlando airport around 10:20ish AM EST. That was over nine hours ago, and I'm settling in for the next 13 hours before my first real chance to get the hell out of here. That's the hazard of flying standby, I suppose. I have taken up residence in a phone cubby that no longer houses a phone. It's a defensible position for my stuff in case I fall asleep, and there are enough outlets to plug in my laptop and my phone. I am prepared for the long haul.

The trouble with not getting out until Monday (Buddha willing) is that I was planning on moving into my new house tomorrow while I'm (hopefully) 40,000 up in the air. Looks like I might have to take off work another day for the move.

But I did get to go to Florida for almost nothing, food mostly as expense plus a bitchin' Apollo mission patch from Kennedy Space Center and other miscellaneous souvenirs. Hooray for Jake and hooray for Jesse who graciously allowed me to freeload. I figure I need to start practicing since I'm destined for a life of a egregious poverty, but on the upside, Sanlyn offered to give me tips on how to live off of food stamps (including what alcomohols you can buy). Hey, the gummint pays for my school and a significant portion of my rent, so why not my food? It's always been one of my closest held dreams to be a drain on the system, and I bet you I could pull it off all sexy-like.

I only have about 100 pages left of Prisoner of Azkaban as reading material, but I suppose I could go to the gift shoppe and pick me up some porno magz. I could read those articles for hours.

This is one more reason why UA is better than ASU

2007-07-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

There really is nothing I can say about this:

Oh gee golly.

The Fourth

2007-07-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me yesterday to make an ironically gung-ho patriotic blog posting for the occasion. At some point in my writing, I would have slipped in a phrase something akin to "Suck it King George." Or something to that effect. Of course it makes me wonder what the percentage of Americans is that could name the monarch the colonists were so peeved at and for what reasons.

But that's irrelevant. When have Americans ever let facts or historical context have any bearing on them getting drunk and eating too much? Or just getting their holiday on.

I did not do anything so productive as writing a blog post. Instead I spent most of the day watching Angel. Now that's celebrating America. It's certainly a more accurate representation of what we've done with our freedom than setting off fireworks or eating hot dogs and watermelon.

Although I would not have said no to some watermelon.

Mistaken Dead Status

2007-06-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what it was, but I always thought Bob Dylan was dead. The way that people talked about him and the musicians that are supposed to be operating in his legacy always gave me the impression that the guy was all deaded.

Woops. The value of my cultural retardedness is currently set to positive.

Pretty much crap

2007-05-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

I have to write a five page paper for my 20th century philosophy final. And I dub it a complete waste of my time. No, wait, I'm going to extend that to the entire course. Any course where you can not go to 80% of the classes and have an A is poorly structured and poorly executed. It's not worth having. The material was boring, and all she did was read from the handouts that she provided. Why even bother with an instructor? I read the handouts and got As on the quizzes.

Now I have to write five pages about Putnam's "Why there isn't a ready made world" paper. It's essentially crap (the assignment, not Putnam's paper). She gave us an outline including every single point we need to cover to get full credit. The only effort required on our part is to rewrite what she wrote in the Putnam handout. It's complete regurgitation. I can understand a teacher helping her students do well, but if she'd done anymore, we'd have form essays we could just write our names at the top of.

I can understand that it's a survey of 20th century philosophy, but there was almost no exploration of the material or the philosophical implications of each philosopher's view. "This is what this philosopher thought. Now onto the next philosopher." It's pretty much the worst way to structure a class in philosophy (or any class, really, but especially philosophy which is nothing if you don't engage the material). I did exactly zero thinking for this class. That means that the teacher has failed. She did not do her job, and this paper is still a waste of my time.

I'm just bummed that I scheduled myself to work at OSCR during the class we filled out evaluations. I would have gone to market and brought home some friggin' roast beef.

Are these emotions I'm feeling? They make me feel funny.

2007-05-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's come over me, but I've been going all fangirl gooshie over indie pop recently. So, I will continue along the vein of my last post with another video of a song I've fallen in love with. This one makes me happy and bouncy inside.

Maia Hirasawa - "And I found this boy"

Those damn Swedes and their infectiously good music...

What the hell, let's go crazy. From the UK with another song I'm smooshing over:

Lucky Soul - "Add Your Light to Mine, Baby"

Instant Favorite

2007-05-04T00:32:00.000-07:00

I have all manner of love for this song. Ever since I heard it a few days ago, it's been stuck with me. I adore this song, and you will too unless you are completely devoid of all passion, desire, and heart. So, I give you Hello Saferide's "My Best Friend." Please commence falling in love with this band.

The singer reminds me of someone or a combination of someones, but I can't place it.

Persona Happenings

2007-04-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

I had a slight let-down tonight. I was not voted into the Junior Editor position that I was running for. It's a bummer, but I secured Assistant Copy Editor. I mostly just wanted to get involved in the workings of the club, so I'm pleased even if I didn't get the job I wanted. That's the peril of running against an officer veteran, I suppose. Besides getting my antisocial bumparts involved in something, I get 3 units of upper-division credit to boot. That means I can decrease my course load during one semester next year. I'll probably drop a class from the Fall semester since there's one English class I didn't want to take in the first place. Hooray for 12 units.

Even though no one else was running for Assistant Copy Editor, I think what really secured my winning it was me saying, "I'm used to being a bitch-boy. I was one at my last job" during my pseudo-speech. I am a bitch-boy. I could be your bitch-boy.

There Are No More Heroes

2007-04-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

It is very seldom that the death of anyone, especially a public figure, moves me to any kind of emotion. When a public figure dies, it's usually expressed that the death of anyone is sad. I disagree. Death is not sad in the way that most people wish it to be sad. It's a very selfish emotion, really. It affects us to the extent that we will miss the person that is now gone. Death is not sad. Life, I think is sadder than death. Life is sad because there is so often no point when there ought to be.

My selfish emotion is in response to the death of my hero. It was one of my cherished dreams to meet him someday just so he could tell me I didn't know anything. He chain smoked for decades and died because of brain injuries from falling. It's an ironic death that I think he would have appreciated. I ought to say something personal about how I am a better person for reading his work and have a better understanding of my relation to humanity and the world, but I don't think he ever wanted people to be like him. Sometimes I feel like I think he must have that life would be better if we couldn't recognize just how wrong things are. "Life is no way to treat an animal," as it were. And because it's what he would want to be said about him:

Kurt Vonnegut is up in heaven now.

So it goes.

Re: Can't Tell the Difference

2007-04-11T14:56:00.001-07:00

I think I give people too much credit. That sounds odd coming from me, but I really do. Today I made a stop to deposit some yellow before meeting with my Milton professor. On the wall above the, ahem, "ATMs" there were some tags, and this addition: "TAGGERS R GAY" with a darling little arrow. I thought that was pretty ironic, and I had to catch myself because I had been thinking that the person who wrote it understood the irony of his actions. I have no way of knowing one way or the other, but it seems far more likely to me that the guy scrawled it up there without appreciating the irony of his actions.

But that's what's tricky about irony. It can be hard to distinguish without context. Like does Alanis Morissette know that most of the stuff she mentions in "Ironic" are not actually ironic and is she being ironic because of it? This is the web I'm tangled in with the "My Boobs are Okay" video I posted last week. I think I might be giving her too much credit, but then I realized that the song is essentially a remaking of "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Observe:

So is the crazy Norwegian girl making a commentary on the glorification of that kind of behavior, or is it just in the same vein? My brain is so whacked-out on literature right now that I have no idea. It's highly probable that I'm simply looking at it too hard and seeing something that isn't there.

As bonus fun, I offer this lovely (and real) commentary on the attitude "My Humps" praises. It's amazing how all credibility in the lyrics is lost when they're slowed down and articulated. Oh those crazy feminists and their "ideas" about "equality" and "not selling your body like a socially sanctioned prostitute." They're so quaint. I mean, seriously, when was the last time one of those types got laid? I'm going to have to quote me some Chasing Amy when I say, "All every woman wants, be it mother, senator, or nun, is some serious deep dicking." Think on that for a moment as you watch this "My Humps" parody:

I'ma Gonna Be a Bridesmaid!

2007-04-10T00:36:00.000-07:00

Or as my sister calls it: a bridesboy. I mentioned earlier that my sister Amanda got engaged to her man-type. Well, she called me on Sunday to ask me if I wanted to be a part of the wedding party, specifically if I would be one of her bridesmaids. I, of course, said yes. Seriously, I'm out of theatre now, so my opportunities for dressing up in a dress all pretty without people throwing garbage at me have been drastically (and unfortunately) reduced.

They'll be getting married in the fall (October 25 if I recall correctly). It should be fun. I haven't been to many weddings.

I'm still in negotiations with her about dress color and style (I would like something that shows off my lovely lady lump), free license for hairdos, and the open bar situation.

A Cop-out/Blatantly Atheistic Easter Post

2007-04-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

(Image Source)

I hope everyone fulfilled the true spirit of Easter and had some rousing shag sessions. Of course using condoms and/or birth control does violate the spirit of a fertility festival. So, I hope y'all enjoyed your non-fertile spring festival. And a Happy Belated Equinox!

A Disturbing Similarity

2007-04-05T17:23:00.001-07:00

There's construction going on at UMC right now that's right on my route to go from the lab to the main hospital. I pass by the site almost every day. Today, I saw a pile of stuff on the site. It contained: a flannel shirt, gloves, a big thermos, a lunch box, and several things I couldn't identify. Then I looked over into the rest of the site and saw a construction worker wearing: a helmet, a handkerchief under the helmet covering his neck, stained and worn-out jeans, a worn-out hoodie, and one of those reflective vest dealies.

I asked myself: what other profession do these two sights bring to mind? The answer seemed obvious to me: a homeless person. Now, I don't mean to conflate the two because only one group provides a viable service. In case you couldn't figure it out on your own, I'm talking about homeless people. The provide an indispensable service to any community they're in.

Let's face it, if there we no homeless people, how would we be able to practice lying convincingly. Without the repeated practice of "Sorry, I don't have any change" and "Oh, I don't carry cash. I only use plastic," we would never be able to work up to more important lies. I'm pretty sure society would break down without these intrepid individuals taking one for the team. So next time someone gets up in arms about homelessness being a problem, you should say, "Homelessness is essential to our way of life! And I absolutely did not sleep with your wife." You'll be golden. And don't forget to thank the stinky guys by "accidentally" dropping some money by them some time. We can't let them think we'd give it to them willingly or they might be inspired to turn their lives around and get jobs and stuff. We certainly can't have that if we want to maintain our comfortable way of life.

Can't Tell the Difference

2007-04-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

Do you ever find yourself faced with something where you can't tell if it's brilliant or mind-numbingly stupid? This is how I feel about this video. I'm not sure if it's making a serious social point about that endearing class of women that survive on their physical appearance or if it's glorifying that behavior as a right and privilege of being an attractive woman.

I felt the same way about some of the submissions I read for Persona this semester. Without context, I couldn't tell if the pieces were fabulous or inane drivel. It's amazing how close those two are when operating in satire. There's a fine distinction between the model and the actual object. So what's the reality? Once they start imitating one another, that distinction blurs. Then we get Hyperreality.

Thank you Baudrillard for keeping me from believing that anything actually exists. Thanks a ton. You know what, Baudrillard? YOU don't exist! How do you like that, huh? That's right, you're dead, so there. That makes me the winner by default on account of dead philosopher.

Where's my medal?

My Dream April Fool's Joke

2007-04-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

I thought of the ultimate April Fool's Joke today. It would involve massive coordination, extensive persuasive skills to get people to play along, and for me to be the head of NASA.

I would make a press release on April 1st revealing that the first moon landing was, indeed, a hoax. The others were genuine, but that first one was faked. There would be a sincere apology on behalf of NASA, and an appeal for understanding of the situation at the time. The competition with the Russians was fierce and a desire not to let the promise to JFK go unrealized.

The moon hoax loons would go ape shit bananas. I think most would realize the gag, as most people do on April 1st, but perhaps some would believe it. And that would be a beautiful thing.

Now I just need to become the director of NASA.

Now I Can See the Resemblance

2007-04-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

I've never seen a Virgin Mary or Jesus sighting in food/oil/building windows/doors/clouds that couldn't be attributed to pareidolia. UNTIL NOW! I really think Jesus is trying to tell us something here. To make a life-size appearance in chocolate like this is incontrovertible evidence that Jesus has something to say to us. (I guess he doesn't realize that we have cell phones now, but who am I to criticize the preferred communication method of the Son of the Lord God Almighty?)

Ooooooooor.... there's a sculptor that has the Christ Camp (mostly the Catholics) all in a huff in the lead-up to Easter with this exhibit. I say they ought to be flattered. I mean, if I was to sculpt their deity out of something brown, it sure wouldn't be out of a material as tasty and pleasantly aromatic as chocolate (if you catch my meaning). Besides, with all the creepy sexual connotations to the Christian worship tradition, I would think they'd be happy to finally get a peak at the holy package.

(Image source)
(Article source)

People and Things

2007-04-01T18:43:00.000-07:00

A big problem that many people have with divine justice is summed up in the question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" This moral indictment of God's sense of justice has been repeated so many times that I've gotten completely sick of it.

What we ought to be asking is "Why do good people happen to bad things?" Did any of you whiners ever stop to consider what it's like for the bad thing to have a good person thrust upon it? I bet you didn't, you inconsiderate bastard. That bad thing may have had serious plans for happening to a bad person, and now it's been deprived that. All that preparation, work, self-sacrifice, and dreaming have gone to waste on account of that good person. It's a real shame, but not as big of a shame as the whole lot of you not realizing that.

Bowling and Other

2007-03-30T00:56:00.000-07:00

I got back recently from the bowling night fund raiser for Persona Undergraduate Literary Magazine (buy one when they come out at the end of the semester). It was fun. Five tickets including my own isn't too bad of an effort on my part, I think. The night was fun. Fluke among flukes, I beat Jesse in our second game with what has been confirmed as my best game. I pulled a very respectable 169. I savored a few moments of bliss from this along with some banter with Katy about the folly and ridiculousness of the music industry (always amusing) and other things (also amusing). And now Brigid and I can plan our romantic interludes without so much secrecy since Jesse gave me the okay to have quick, guilt-free sex with her. He's such a generous fellow, really. I mean, I wouldn't prostitute out my girlfriend unless I was getting money out of it, but I guess I'm just old fashioned in that way. You're a real pal, Jesse.

On a totally unrelated note, I happen to find this website absolutely hilarious. It's all the typical Christian fallacies brought together in what can be best described as a convention of the nutty and the illogical. (I think religions should have conventions, just so I can make puns about them conning) Anywhozzle, take a look if you have a strong stomach. Such concentrated doses of logical fallacies rock my insides harder than a vat of jalapeñocheesebeefgrease.

One last thing: I think I have the answer to why the Christian church has been so fixated on sex and sexuality for so long. I believe it has something to do with the first seriously organized conception of the Christian faith, the Roman Catholic Church, having their leader dress up to be shaped like a penis.
Seriously, the dude's hat is all phallic-y. I suppose if you're going to be a bunch of total pricks, you ought to dress the part. Let's not forget that Mother Theresa was Catholic, and she was fucking awful.

Deathly Hallows Cover

2007-03-28T17:06:00.000-07:00

The cover art for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released today. So, I thought I would share because I'm just so damned excited about it. The release date is July 21st, and I can barely contain my schoolgirl-esque glee.

Here's the UK children's cover (Because the adult version is lame):

And here is the full US cover (which is the artwork that I prefer):

Source

Fisting and God's Will

2007-03-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

...some couples may wonder if it is appropriate for a wife to fist her husband if he enjoys anal stimulation. In most cases, a wife indulging her husband’s desire to receive light anal play is not problematic in the context of a healthy sexual relationship. A wife may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys this, and if their respective roles as husband and wife are secure outside of the bedroom.

However, because of the intense nature of the act of fisting and the degree of surrender and submission involved in being fisted, a couple should first look deeply into their own hearts and pray for guidance as to whether it is wise for the wife to fist the husband. They should undertake this only if their relationship is such that the husband can assume a submissive and passive role during a sexual act, while afterward still maintaining his role as the spiritual head of the household and leader in the marriage. Our article on Christian BDSM also addresses this issue.

I seriously could not make this stuff up. Make sure to check out the other articles on there as well. It is seldom that I have no words. This is one of those times.

New Title

2007-03-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I would take the time to say something about my new title. I'm becoming more and more of a lit nerd as time goes by, so I'll admit it's a reference to a poem by William Wordsworth: "Intimations on Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood." But since I'm an American and I demand short, quick, and clever titles that still give a sense of the entire work (that don't at all put any pressure on the writer. At all.), I call it "The Intimations Ode."

Here's the stanza:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
Shades of the prison-house begin to close
Upon the growing Boy,
But He beholds the light, and whence it flows,
He sees it in his joy;
The Youth, who daily farther from the east
Must travel, still is Nature's Priest,
And by the vision splendid
Is on his way attended;
At length the Man perceives it die away,
And fade into the light of common day.

I like it because it's an image of a loss of innocence. But knowledge replaces innocence which is ultimately a favorable trade. That's a very cursory explanation, but I'm at work and I ought to be reading Paradise Lost.

Two Special Kinds of Joy

2007-03-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take a moment out of my usually bitter attitude to mention two things that just make me happy.

The first: that feeling you get just before you're tipsy. Everything just seems better in that ever-so-floaty state. I wish I knew the amount of alcohol and the rate I would have to consume it in order to maintain that feeling over longer periods of time.

The second: finding an unexpectedly good parking spot. I always try the lot near the Engineering building for my Thursday night shift, but I never actually expect to get a spot, as it's a small lot and in a high traffic area. In that case, I have a back-up lot that's unpleasantly further away. But every once and a while, I get a spot, and it fills me with simple-hearted glee. This is compounded when I know it's the last spot in the lot, and I see cars coming in after me. That's joy plus schadenfreude. That's the best of both worlds, baby.

First Choice

2007-03-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a wee bit o' research on grad programs, and I think I've come up with my top choice. It seems to be everything that I want in a school. It would probably send me into horrific amounts of debt as it's a private college in New York. Sarah Lawrence, you and I shall be cleaved to one another. Oh yes, it shall be so.

...please let me into your school

Conclusion

2007-03-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

I have decided that too many people I know are getting married and/or spawning. I was fine when it was still, "Hey, you know RandomPerson from high school? They're baking baby batter into baby cakes." And since baby cakes sound disturbingly delicious, I was fine. Now with the sister-type getting all engaged-like, it feels like they're closing in, and the two half-used rolls of aluminum foil we have in the house might not be enough to keep them from infiltrating my brainpan with thoughts of soccer practice and gift registries.

So, my course of action is this: the next person who is closely connected to me that gets engaged/married/impregnated is going to have their sex changed, forcibly, by me. I won't go into all of the gory details, but it would involve either a hard kick to the testicular area to create a pseudo-vaginal cavity or voodoo magic and a kielbasa sausage. Do not provoke me.

Also, my congratulations to you Amanda, I am very happy for you. *emoticon*

Pseudomamma

2007-03-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

This has got to be the weirdest thing I've seen in a while. I sat for a while trying to think of an appropriate pun, but I came up with nothing. I am convinced that there has got to be some wordplay to be had with this. How could there not?

All Gussied-Up

2007-03-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Today while I was awaiting my new glasses to be completed, I took a jaunt over to Border's to gander at some books that I lust over. While looking for The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, I see an unfamiliar section: "Metaphysical Studies." I am suitably confused since I already saw the Philosophy section, and Philosophy can't really be condensed into that single discipline even if I hadn't. As I approached to investigate, it struck me as to which section I had yet to see in the new layout: New Age. Lo and behold, Metaphysical Studies cobbles together tarot, Nostradamus, crystals, and other such vagueries.

Does this remind anyone else of creationism transmorgified into intelligent design? Same loony business with a new name to make it sound more intellectual and beard-strokey.

Sharing is Caring

2007-02-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm going to disclose something that happened to me because I love you all so tenderly:

I vomited so hard that my nose bled.

For All the Wrong Reasons

2007-01-31T17:26:00.000-07:00

I came across an interesting insight today. It is as such:

When gay marriage is made legal, it won't be because it's the right thing to do; it'll be because the commercial possibilities of having them will be realized. Because, if I can speak stereotypically for a moment, who would throw a more elaborate wedding than two gay men?

Filing Taxes

2007-01-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Me: I think it's ridiculous that they keep that 54 dollars. I don't make enough money for them to keep that. I want that 50 dollars back!

Jesse: It pays for the services that the government renders you.

Me: They can render me a fucking blow job!

Seperated from Reality

2007-01-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

The other day I was walking along with someone; let's call her Ms. Bootless. We were passing by some storage tanks that held liquid oxygen. For whatever reason, there were crewmen there venting off some of the O2. It looked really cool. The pipe it was venting out was coated with frost all along it's length. Fabulous science!

But that's not really the point. Ms. Bootless got all weirded out and didn't know what they were doing. She crossed the street and wouldn't go near it. "Why are they doing that? What is that?" she asked. I told her they were just releasing some liquid O2, that it was just oxygen. It didn't matter to her, and she said she wasn't going to go near it.

Now this event may not seem like a whole lot to someone who is not acquainted with Ms. Bootless. She bothers me, and it took me a long time to figure out why that was. And now I think I have a decent idea of why she bugs me so much. Here's the thing: I still have this silly idealistic notion that every person is worth something. She disconfirms that fanciful notion of mine.

Life, as I see it, builds toward something. It's different for everyone, and no one goal is intrinsically more "worthy" than any other. Ms. Bootless isn't building toward anything. She's said enough to the effect that she wants to just be in heaven so her troubles will be over. Setting aside my first reaction to that, it strikes me as a futile existence waiting for life to end. Where's the fulfillment in that? That's just subsistence with no meaningful prospects, completely setting aside the metaphysical garble that is the afterlife.

Either that, or she's just annoying.

Does this make me weird?

2007-01-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

I spent my lunch break today writing. It started out with my opinion on the nonexistence of free will. How many twenty-one year old guys actually think about stuff like that? It moved from there into the changing ratio of human understanding vs. the realm of god. Through time, scientists reach their limit and attribute the out-of-reach portion to god. Then someone comes along and licks the problem that stumped the previous intrepid individual. It's a lesson of human limitations and the development of human knowledge.

My point is that, over time, the god explanation has been used less and less to cover an unknown. Now, it's a 'we don't don't know...but we will' attitude that I think is much better. Still though, people insist on throwing in the god card. As a species, we haven't discovered everything, but I think we've uncovered enough to where we should realize that the blanket explanation of big-sky-daddy is no longer necessary. There's a system in place where we can find answers, test them, accept them, and revise them.

Isn't that grand?

I just think we need to be careful. If ID is allowed to encroach on the already pitiful state of public education, we could forever lose our standing in the intellectual world. While Western society was entrenched in Church instituted Dark Ages, the Muslim world was the center of of scientific discovery. If that doesn't give you the willies about the power of religion induced promotion of ignorance, then yeah.

This is how I spend my time.

Make Love, Not that Other Thing

2006-11-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

Calif. Couple Calls for Orgasm for Peace

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.

But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace. (full story)

Now there's a concept. This is seriously an anti-war effort I can get behind. I'm not one for holding signs or writing letters to my congressperson. But, if I can help save the world while getting my jollies at the same time, I say that's a win-win type situation. I think everyone ought to do their part by doing themselves.

Because I'm such a damned good person

2006-11-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

I donated blood today. I can't say that it was actually fun, but it went well. Okay, except for the part when the network went down while I was doing the pre-donation screening. And also the part when I momentarily blacked out after the needle was removed. That part did feel pretty cool though. I got lightheaded, and everything went all swooshy. It's interesting to see your realm of vision slowly collapse when you're not actually closing your eyes.

Those needles they use are hefty. That sucker (haha) was the width of a coffee stirrer.

Next time, I'm going to make sure to drink more water. Maybe then I won't pass out. One can only hope.

Don't Dip it In

2006-11-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

Abstinence message goes beyond teens
USA TODAY

The federal government's "no sex without marriage" message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007.

The government says the change is a clarification. But critics say it's a clear signal of a more directed policy targeting the sexual behavior of adults. (full story)

Because it's just such an effective and intelligent education (I use that in the lightest sense of the word) method for teens that it's expanding to adults?

I find it completely awful that such an idiotic policy is (1) actually still being taught to pre-teens and teens, and (2) that there's a feeling within this compartment of government that the sexual conduct of adults is in any way their concern.

People have sex and babies without a silly ritual of (supposedly) life-long commitment? I think I might just keel over in shock and affronted moral principles. How 'bout you?

Musing

2006-10-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

If Islamic terrorists started recruiting paraplegics and double amputees, would they be promised 36 virgins in the afterlife?

Fuck the Apple Store

2006-10-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

May they be forced to gargle the blood of ten stillborn infants and be boiled in the semen of three dozen pedophiles.

I went in last Monday to have my computer fixed, and it still hasn't been sent to the Apple Repair Center. It's been a week, and I am a very pissed off student without a computer.

Cock gobblers, every one of them.

I'm going to Simutek now.

Electronic Karma

2006-10-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

I think all the bad mojo from taking apart every electronic thing I could get my hands on as a kid is starting to catch up with me.

The logic board on my iBook failed. This is the replacement from when my original logic board crapped out. No laptop. No Mac delectablity for Ryan, just the PCs he can access through work (which is where I'm writing this).

And my iPod is failing too. I have to restart it more than I ought to in order to get it out of a freeze or to get it to actually play music. Why, Stevey? Why must your products forsake me in my time of need? I need the warm loving glow of Apple's warm loving glow to sustain me.

If I'm not a complete slacker, I'll say something about midterms and NaNo later.

And I am a complete slacker, so don't hold out a whole lot of hope.

Are you Kidding?

2006-09-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

I'm in the ECE lab right now "working" through a reservation for an Engineering class. The professor just spent the last 15 minutes talking about breathing. She even mentioned Reflexology. Reflexology? Are you serious? Reflexology is complete pseudoscience. It's just foot massage and has no effect on health. It's an amazing feat (haha, didn't catch that until I reread the post) of compartmentalization that someone can be a professor in engineering able to do things with her mind that I'll never be able to and then just turn off when it comes to stuff like this. I love it!

Japanese

2006-09-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

I decided I'm going to stop trying as much in Japanese. It's my last semester of it, and I'm ready to be done. I three-quarters assed it for the last three semesters and got an A, so if I half ass it in 202 or even three-eighths ass it, I could potentially get a B. I like those numbers. I also like that it gives me more time so I don't wear myself out as much.

And I'm glad I dropped those 7 units. I'm pretty sure I'd be in a coma right now if I hadn't.

Is it a bad sign that it's only about a month in and I'm already entertaining fantasies of quitting college? What's the point, really? My degree will do me absolutely no good. None. "Creative Writing major? Here! Have a sack of money!" It just feels like I'm wasting time and money to take the three classes in my major that I actually want to take. Why on Earth would I want to go into debt for a degree that will do me no real good? It's depressing, really.

So downer post. Uhhhhh... Okay, so a midget walked into a bar and I stepped over it.

Me Wanna Pass Out

2006-09-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

This is my second week of getting up at 6 to go to work then class then work at other job. I'm pretty much on the verge of collapse. I'm behind in my reading and I'm missing assignments. I also have 4 stories that I need to read and critique for tomorrow. There's also the 50 pages or so of reading I need to do for Friday and prepare a presentation on 30 of those pages. I would likey pass out now.

Oh and I'm starting to think again that I'm sick. Awesome. Awesome.

So yeah, I'd like to go to sleep right now and not wake up for a week or so. Anyone know how I could arrange that? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

And if I do crash, be comforted to know that the people I plan on taking down with me would be random passersby.

New Facebook Homepage

2006-09-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

I find it really funny that people are complaining about the new Facebook homepage. That on its own I could deal with. People are always unsatisfied. What's funny is the group dedicated to hating the homepage. I bet almost everyone in that group joined because their friends joined it and they knew that because it was posted on the new Facebook homepage.

When I Die...

2006-08-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

China acts on funeral strippers

Five people have been detained in China for running striptease send-offs at funerals, state media say.

The once-common events are held to boost the number of mourners, as large crowds are seen as a mark of honour.

But the arrests, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, could signal the end of the rural tradition.

Local officials have since ordered a halt to "obscene performances" and say funeral plans have to be submitted in advance, Xinhua news agency said.

The arrests, in Donghai county, followed striptease acts at a farmer's funeral, the agency said.

Two hundred people were said to have attended the event, which was held on 16 August.

The Beijing News said the event was later revealed by a Chinese TV station. The leaders of five striptease troupes were held, it said, including two involved in the farmer's funeral.

"Striptease used to be a common practice at funerals in Donghai's rural areas to allure viewers," Xinhua agency said.

"Local villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more the dead person is honoured."

As well as ordering an end to the practice, officials have also said residents can report "funeral misdeeds" on a hotline, earning a reward for information.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5280312.stm

Nice Guys

2006-08-26T16:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've heard the saying/Green Day song "Nice Guys Finish Last." In terms of dating, this seems to be the case. At least from my limited experience. Have you ever stopped to ask why this is? The self-proclaimed nice guy will tell you that girls prefer dating the jack-offs. I disagree. I'd like to give the fairer sex a little more credit than that.

Here's my explanation of the phenomenon: the jack-off asshole actually asked her out. Imagine that, taking the initiative. So as long jack-off assholes are out there asking out girls and the "nice guys" remain mostly spineless pansies, the trend will continue.

What's really sickening is that some of the creepier "nice guys" think that somehow they're entitled to a girlfriend/poon just because they're supposedly nice.

What is "nice" anyway? Here are a few definitions from dictionary.com

- Pleasing and agreeable in nature
- Exhibiting courtesy and politeness
- Of good character and reputation

Okay, that's all well and good. However, don't you think it's better to be "kind"?

- Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature.
- Showing sympathy or understanding; charitable
- Humane; considerate
- Forbearing; tolerant
- Generous; liberal
- Agreeable; beneficial

I personally think the latter is preferable. Niceness is a description of behavior, while kindness reflects a genuine goodness of being.

There's really more to it than this, but it's just something I've noticed since high school. I bet you were expecting a lament based on the title of the post, weren't you? I like to mix things up.

There was a time that I did bitch about it, but then I pulled my head out of my ass. How great would it be if others could do the same?

Fall Semester..... COMMENCE!

2006-08-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

I started my third year at the Ivory Tower today. It's kind of strange to think I'm halfway done with my undergraduate degree. It's bound to be an interesting semester with the load I'm taking on. There's the 19 units, the 25-30 hours a week working two jobs, wanting to squeeze in some rock climbing trips, and most importantly trying to find time to spend with a certain someone. So that's all very joyous. I'll either learn to manage my time or start chowing down speed.

I put down the deposit on my car today. Within a week or so I'll officially purchase my '98 Honda Accord. I had been looking at a Nissan Sentra, but after consulting someone who knows a whole hell of a lot more about cars than I do, changed my mind. As it turns out, Nissan Sentras do not hold their value very well at all. It would be worth half as much in about three years. So I decided to go with the Honda. All told, it's going to cost me a shaving over $7500. It's actually all working out very nicely. I have had no hassle whatsoever about anything so far. It's been an enjoyable experience.

Currently, I'm sitting in Old Engineering 318, wheedling away my first shift of the semester at OSCR. There is no one in the lab. I also am hungry, thirsty, and have to pee. That'll all have to wait until after 10 when my shift is over.

If Parents aren't afraid of you influencing their children, you're doing something wrong

2006-08-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

I was using the paper shredder today at work, and I thought of a really great title for a porn movie. Like all great porn movies, this would be a niche production. "What niche?" I hear the droves ask. Well, it's for transgender emo porn. The title is based on a popular 80's song by Cutting Crew. It's going to be called I Just Hermaphro-Died in Your Arms Tonight. Can you picture it? Chicks with dicks writing weepy poetry about the entropy of society and how no one understands their surprise penis, all while taking it right up their ruby starfruit.

I have a vision.

Les sigh

2006-08-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I'd been thinking about quitting my job at the radiology lab. I was torn though because I knew the responsible thing to do would be to keep the job. Bills need to be paid after all. I came to a decision. Pending me finding some awesome job that pays more than Radiology does, I'm going to stick it out. Sometimes I hate having to do the grown-up thing.

Do you want to go on a Child Molestation Ride? I mean, Magic Carpet Ride?

2006-08-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed when someone you don’t like and/or truly despise likes something that you do, it makes you want to like it less? There’s no logical reason for it that I can think of. I can only think of one example of this at the moment. It is as follows:

I really like the movie The Boondock Saints. It’s violent, smart, and has a moral ambiguity that I find very interesting. (Even though I do think anyone who kills in the name of religion/god is crack-alack in the head a little bit.) Well, a while ago when the slut-ho-bitch, I mean Mel, was living here, she and her friend were watching said awesome movie downstairs.

Nothing changed about the movie, nothing at all. It’s some kind of weird reaction that I don’t understand. The movie is still great. And I guess the moral of the story is that slut-ho-bitches can like great movies too.

**

Hello, I’m Bob Barker. Please have your slut-ho-bitches and man-whores spayed or neutered. Do it for the ignorant, drain on society children they should never be allowed to have. Thank you, and goodnight.

PS- Have you also noticed that "molestation" is spelled like "mole station." Someone ought to investigate the connection.

Confused

2006-07-26T12:48:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure that someone stole the manual stapler in my computer lab. I was sitting at my laptop, and this girl came up to print and then staple what she had printed. I wasn't particularly paying attention to her, but I thought I saw her holding something other than her printout. She walked out. A little while later, I processed what had just happened. The manual stapler was gone. What is that all about? I mean, come on! A stapler? Of course, by the time I realized what had happened, it was too late to do anything. People baffle me.

Teehee worthy

2006-07-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

I find it pretty amusing that the spellcheck feature that Blogger uses says that the word "blog" is misspelled.

Pretty much the awesomest thing ever

2006-07-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

I preordered Vol. 1 of Animaniacs. I'll have it sometime around Thursday of next week. After that, there will be splendor.

BEHOLD!

Something

2006-07-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but the sight of an ice cream cone on the ground looks sad. I don't even like ice cream.

I was walking home from work and saw a Dairy Queen ice cream cone on the ground with it's cold, cremy treat melting away in a trail of white. I may not like the stuff, but it didn't seem like a fitting end for the sweetness.

Okay, that was pretty much an American Beauty post. Nevermind me.

Stick It

2006-06-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

..in the trash.

I watched Stick It last night. With the FSM as my witness, I have seen few worse movies. Cheesey dialogue, predictability, crappy character development, plot holes, flat acting, sappy theme, stock characters, cookie-cutter "punk-rawk" rebellion, and the list goes on.

My favorite part was how the standard bitchy, dumb girl flips this complete 180 degree turn to become a decent human being. This was all initiated by the line, "Don't you know how to do anything but gymnastics?". Her and the main girl, who were in a totally intense feud throughout the movie, become friends at the end. *Contented sigh*

Newsy Bit

2006-06-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

I'm officially starting a new blog. No longer do my five or so readers have to be subjected to my religious and politically motivated posts. This blog is going to return to its original intent: anecdotal and observational posting. If anyone so desires, they can take a look-see at my new blog for slightly more serious posts. I've cleverly named it The Budding Atheist. There's currently nothing posted over there, but I plan on revisiting some of my previous posts on Generic Title and cleaning them up a bit. I'll be applying a more rigorous standard to the posts over there: no more sloshing something put, applying spellcheck, and then publishing the post (Although that will most likely remain the case here at Generic Title). I plan to format Budding Atheist posts in a columnesque way. Hope you'll take a look.

I Don't Understand

2006-06-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when farting and pooping is done by a female, it's supposedly gross, but when a guy does it, it's funny? How is either that much different from sneezing or vomiting? They're all just bodily functions. People are ~~dumb~~ weird.

Science and Religion

2006-06-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

Why is it that so many theists take the stance that because evolution can't, at this time, prove without doubt that it is an irrefutable fact, it becomes false. I disagree with that horribly hypocritical standpoint. These are the people who claim absolute truth based on nothing more than faith and pattern recognition where there are no patterns.

Evolution, or any science for that matter, does not need to verify itself beyond uncertainty. Unrevisable "truth" is the realm of the theist. Science is human's best effort to gain natural understanding. A scientist that believes what they know about science is absolute truth has missed the point. Science is a journey, not a destination.

My syntax professor admitted to the class last semester that he believed very little of what he was teaching us about current syntactic theory. This seriously blew away the girl I sat next to. She actually changed her major from Linguistics for that reason. She couldn't deal with the idea that science is not a realm of true and false (I got a very theistic vibe from her).

I love science. In some ways, I wish I was suited for a career in research science. I think that a life spent approaching understanding is the most valuable thing a person can do. But, I'm a writer. But a writer that will maintain a lifelong love affair with science.

I got off my original aim a bit (what's new?), but what I'm basically trying to say is that the black and white mentality of theism cannot and should not be applied to science. There's a circular principle at work here: the only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth.

It's looking more like I'm going to have to start a new blog to keep these kinds of posts off this one. I just need a name for it. Once I think of a witty name, I can direct all my increasingly ardent atheistic posts over there. Then Generic Title can return to posting about guys I see peeing out the pant leg of their shorts.

The Meaning of Life

2006-06-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

This was originally going to be a post about The Meaning of Life(TM). I couldn't organize my thoughts satisfactorily, so that will have to wait.

Instead, I'm going to discuss the Afterlife(TM)(C)(R). I never really took the afterlife seriously, even when I was a Christian. It never settled with me. The odd thing was that it was fear of hell that kept me in the religion longer than was necessary. It's an elegantly simple tactic to maintain membership.

What do I think about the afterlife now that I'm out of Christianity? I can't see it being much different than a dreamless sleep. When a person dies and the electrical signals stop firing in their brain, that's where I think life ends. There's no convincing evidence to the contrary. The only way someone can argue differently is by appealing to the divine. That is extremely suspect in my opinion.

Not believing in an afterlife does not make my life meaningless as many Christians would say. I assign my meaning in the same way that everyone else does, even Christians. I see life as worth living based on that I want to see my life play out and continue what I have started. The Christian says life without God is not worth living. To that I respond: every single person who lived and died before word of the Judeo-Christian God spread to their area.

While life has no inherent meaning, that does not make it not worth living. I enjoy daily activities and look forward to where my life is headed. That's all the meaning I need.

Looks like this ended up being about the meaning of life after all.

I didn't really mean to go off on Christians. Most of the Christians I know are really super people. I don't want to go all Uberatheist; that's not the direction I want my blog to go in. If I see myself doing more and more atheist posts, I'll start a new blog to devote to that. That's a promise I make to you, my four or so readers!

You're not reading this...

2006-06-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

...because the world has ended.

HAPPY 6/6/6 DAY EVERYONE!

The Da Vinci Code

2006-06-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

Why is it that there is so much uproar about how The Da Vinci Code needs to be taken as a work of fiction? When I saw it, there was no "Based on Actual Events" in the opening credits or in any of the advertisements. It said, "Based on the novel by Dan Brown."

So why is it that this movie is contested? I have my theory. It's not a popular one, but I'll share it anyway. It's important to fundie Christians to have the movie categorized as fiction so the two fictions won't mix together: Dan Brown's fiction and the Bible's fiction. The best part about the whole thing is there is actually a lot of scholarly support for some of the things in The Da Vinci Code. I just wish the idea of the sacred feminine was explored more. I could have done a little more with Isis/Horus vs. Mary/Jesus.

All the movie does is explore some other view of Jesus. If fundy Christians get so upset about alternative views of the same Jesus, how would they react to a movie that presents the more likely option: that the historical Jesus never existed?

I could write a whole novel, not about how the Greatest Story Ever Told involved a cover-up, but about how it's a complete lie. How's that for a book-burner?

On second thought

2006-05-23T02:18:00.000-07:00

I've been doing some thinking about the "mysterious post" I referenced earlier. I got some good advice regarding it. I've decided it's not necessary. I no longer feel the need to advertise what the post would be about. It went through multiple revisions, and ultimately, it's really not worth getting into. It's not a secret by any means. However, making a big deal about it (semi)publicly is incongruous with what it was. So if anyone was looking forward to it or actually cared, I'm sorry to disappoint.

I suppose it's time

2006-05-10T09:12:00.000-07:00

A quick sum-up of everything that's been going on, which has been more than usual. This last weekend was the busiest I've had in a long time. My sister Amanda graduated, and before the fam went to that, we visited with family members because there was a first birthday in the family. Then on Sunday, we were moving Amanda out of her apartment in Phoenix. I still hate that couch. Then we had a dinner with her roommates family at the same time my other sister Bethany and parents were at a wedding. The whole weekend was nuts, but there was boneless buffalo wings from Chilis, so everything turned out fine.

School: I've knocked down three finals and a portfolio with one final left. That's in about two hours. Then I'll be done for the semester, and it's looking as though this semester will boost my GPA which is exciting.

After that final I'll be going to my new employment. I'm pretty much done with training, so I'm going to be jumping right in. Related to employment, I'm going to be interviewing for another job on Friday. It's with OSCR. It's a low hours job, so if it's something I want to do I could juggle them. Rent in more expensive next year, so I could use more money. That and I need to get me some wheels. This bumming rides thing has been getting old. Loan money and that job ought to do it.

That's all from me. There's a post I need to do that I've been putting off because I want it to be written in a certain way. So look forward to that mysterious post. *spooky noises*

Input please

2006-04-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

I've been toying with the idea of starting a new blog. I want to depart from the personal nature of this one to a more formal expression of my political, social, and humanistic views. It would be an exploratory process rather than a declaration. I'm only twenty, and I'm not so deluded and arrogant to think that my world-view is complete or ever will be for that matter. As it stands, Generic Title is what I would consider a ring toss. I'm just chucking out ideas. This new blog would be column-esque, and I would be holding it to a much higher standard than Generic Title.

I'd like to ask the people who read this for their opinions. You know, the multitudes. So, roommates, sister, and anyone directed here from my Facebook or Myspace profiles, do you think I ought to start this new blog? Let's hear it.

I haven't subjected y'all in a while

2006-04-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

...so here's one of my poems I wrote for my poetry workshop. It's kind of an odd one. It started out as being about this website that is supposed to send out letters in the event of the Rapture. It morphed, as all my poems are like to do, and here is the result:

“Soul Slaw”

I’ve always pictured the antichrist
looking something like Bob Dylan on
the Blonde on Blonde album cover
except with a spangly stick used
to curse the nations of the world.

I bet that spangly stick
would fetch a pretty
sumptuous price on eBay, if I could just get my hands
on it.

That’s where I got the swastika
tattoo I use as a conversation starter.
I usually keep it
on my arm, but I wear it on my forehead
when I go out to meet woman looking for
a good time
or big, burly, bald men looking for
a hate crime.

I like my hate crimes best
with a side of slaw.
There really is nothing quite like
getting back home after a night of beating
and bashing to a ten gallon
tub of slaw waiting
to be eaten and bathed in.
A baptism in slaw
would be the thing, I think,
that would take away the sins of the world.

The baptism fonts ought to be filled
with the sin-absolving slaw, and the world
could be made right.
And in it’s new rightness, the world could
once again fall from grace at the cost
of $19.99 a month with access to dozens
of adult websites.

And you saw it first here, folks.

Illegal activities

2006-04-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

Someone has perpetrated an illegal act against me. It seems that a Lebanese man by the name Mr Audu Mohammed and some Nigerian representatives have made a contract claim for $10.5M to be transferred to an account in Spain. The people at the Central Bank of Nigeria have contacted me via email because of some discrepancies in the paperwork. I don't know what's going on here because that contract was for $8.25M to be transferred to Denmark. Rest assured that the right phone calls will be made. I will not tolerate this breach in security. That is the last time I go to the Lebanese for a job. It was barely done within an acceptable margin of error and now this. I won't stand for it.

Space well utilized

2006-04-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

The land use of Antarctica is:

98% ice
2% barren rock

"Jesused"

2006-04-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

I got Jesused last night. "What does it mean to be Jesused?" you might ask. Well, to be Jesused means that someone hands you something that you think might be coupons or a discount card of some sort, but it is actually some form of what I'll call religious propaganda. I don't want it to seem like I'm going on a mission against Christianity. I'd really like Christianity if Christians actually practiced it.

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40

Am I somehow mistaken when I say that the second greatest commandment according to Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior in the Christian faith, the Son of God, is to love your neighbor as yourself? That has to carry some weight, I would imagine. This is where I'm confused. How is it that trying to deny gays their basic human rights fulfils that commandment? That doesn't seem like a loving action to me. I know Christianity has a basic issue with homosexuality, but I'd like to challenge everyday Christians to actually back why it is that they disagree with homosexuality. "It's a sin" isn't an adequate answer. I could say fingerpainting is a sin, and it doesn't make it so. I know there are passages in the Bible that deal with this issue, but that in itself raises the issue of whether or not the Holy Bible is wholly divine. It's a book written by men, translated by men, and subject to the editing of who knows how many different rulers and teachers. Still, you ought to be able to back up your statements and give some textual evidence, and try reading your guidelines instead of getting everything from the minister. That's what the Reformation was all about all you Protestants. It argued that the common man was able to commune with God directly and ask for forgiveness and such. Isn't depending on the clergy for all your knowledge of your faith basically the same issue? How do you know they're not pushing their own agenda or tailoring the religion to their own personal beliefs? You really don't know until you go to the text yourself.

This card that I got Jesused with had the basic message that in order to be moral, one had to obey the Ten Commandments. Morality is not determined by what has become the de facto state religion of the United States. An atheist can be the epitome of morality in a general sense but since the first five of the Ten Commandments are exclusive to a Judeo-Christian faith, is the atheist therefore immoral? That's ridiculous. Christianity was once wrong until Constantine made it the state religion of the Roman Empire. Sure, Christianity is considered to the end-all religion in the United States at the moment, but it would be incredibly arrogant to think that it will always be so.

I'm telling you, Christianity would be a lot more appealing without all the Christians.

Jeezy Chreezy

2006-04-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

I think I've figured out what "the saddest thing ever" would be. Imagine for a second if all religions were false, and they had no basis in anything more than a human tendency to reach for a divine that isn't there, to seek something more that the biological cycle of life and death. I'm not saying that that in itself would sadden me. What would be sad is that everything ever done in the name of religion would have been in vain. Every war started with religion as a motivator would have been without meaning. All the hate towards those who are different would have had no cause. The Christian right would have no purpose, but they're not really concerned with religion anyways. I think that would just be very sad.

To round out this religion based post, I'd like to say a few things about faith. I understand the basis of Christianity is in faith. I'm not denying that when I say that faith alone is not enough. It's all well and good that a person can say that they believe Jesus is their Lord and Savior and that he came and died to forgive everyone's sins. But does it seem like that's just about the extent of a lot of Christians' knowledge about the religion. I mean, it seems to me that if someone is going to vocal and proud of their religion, they ought to do the reading and be able to back up what they say about it. (Let's just leave out the fact that the New Testament, the gospels at least, was written about a century after the events it describes and that it was collects in the form we know now about 200 years after that) It looks to me that Christianity is becoming an oral tradition because most Christians tend to take the word of their pastors/priests/others in the religion. Does that seem wrong to anyone else? This really ought not bother me as much as it does. It just seems I can never escape the frustrations about Christianity I feel because it was so much a part of my childhood/adolescence. Personally, I want to believe that there's something more to life than the reproduction cycle. But just because we have language and the ability (if not the practice) of rational thought doesn't make it so. If you ever want to know why I decided to be a writer, this is the answer. I can never get these sorts of things out of my head. I'll just leave it at that since if I go over everything, I'll dismiss it as a bunch of convoluted crap and delete it.

Urinary Adventures

2006-04-05T15:34:00.000-07:00

I would like, if I may, to tell about something I witnessed just a little while ago before the event slips from my mind. I was in the bathroom in the student union. You just know this has to be good now, huh? Well anyway, I had finished doing my business, and I was washing and drying my hands. This is when I looked in the mirror, and reflected in it was a man who had just walked up to the urinal. I saw him pulling at the leg of his shorts, and before I had fully figured out what the hell he was doing, he was urinating out the leg of his shorts. I can only guess that he maneuvered his funny business around and got it to point out the leg of the shorts. Now, this just baffled me. Why would anyone ever in the history of ever use the leg of their shorts as an escape hatch? It seems like a faulty system to me. One false move and you've got piss all down your leg without pants or underwear to help protect the sanitation of your leg. Me, I'll stick with a more traditional approach. Pants have zippers and I intend to use them. I suppose I'm just old-fashioned that way.

It's coming...

2006-04-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

It's really starting to hit me that after these next four weeks of school, I'll be halfway done with undergrad. I know that for sure since barring some horrible cock-up I'll be completing my degree in the traditional four years. Seeing as I only need 15 units a semester to achieve the 120 credit requirement for graduation, I don't foresee a problem. I could actually add a whole second major and still graduate on time without overextending too much. I wouldn't do that because I'm a big believer in not putting in more work than I ought to. This all just really means that I'm grappling with the reality of what I'm going to do after I graduate with my personally fulfilling but otherwise thoroughly useless degree. One thing I am excited about is that next semester I'll be taking ENGL304 which is Intermediate Fiction Writing. Huzzah! With that thought I head off to bed so I can arise early to do some homework I was too lazy to do tonight and work on my new story.

One more

2006-04-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

There a new addition to Unit 2. She's a 8 month-old puppy, a German Sheppard mix. Jesse adopted the dog he was looking at while at the Humane Society. Her name was Lady, but we all thought that was a totally lame name for a dog, so she's now called Isabelle. She's a sweet dog. She doesn't really bark either. That's a definite plus with Kia's incessant buffing at anything that comes remotely close to the house. I like her. She's a loving dog and likes to be on beds. She just to the left of me while I'm writing this actually. Jesse's off getting some doggy essentials, so since I had Linguistics to work on, I must attend to the arduous task of keeping Isabelle upstairs. That's all kinds of easy because:

1) All she's doing is sleeping
2) She's displayed behavior that she's territorial of the upstairs portion of the house
3) She has yet to navigate the stairs downwards without help yet.

It's kind of weird, Isabelle is the kind of dog that I'd like to have if I got a dog. She makes me kind of want to get one of my own instead of a cat. Four dogs might be too many in a house of three people next year. They wouldn't be able to all go on a walk at once. I'm a ways away from making a decision on this since I really can't afford to put out the $180 it would cost to get a pet. Maybe once I get a job, I'll put more serious thought into it. Jesse, I blame you and your excellent taste in dogs for making me want a dog of my own.

More Importantly

2006-04-02T21:59:00.000-07:00

I forgot to write about the more important part of yesterday. Jesse, Kristi, and I went to look at Unit 1, our future residence. I really liked the place. It was completely tiled, and the rooms were large. The weird part about it is that when we went in with the management, the three girls who are currently renting it didn't wake up when we knocked, when Tina yelled "Management" when we came in, or when we were looking around the house including poking our heads into each of their rooms. Four people moving around a house that size would've woke me up. Bizarre.

Moving on, there was Faire today! Yay for Faire! No yay for sore feet after walking around the Renn Faire. Definitely no yay for that. I went with Jesse and Kristi, and it was most enjoyable. We quested for a hair spiral and a tiara for Kristi as closing time was approaching. Kristi was hassled by the guy selling shiny butterflies on a stick. He was a bigger guy with a thick, bushy mustache and he was hawking these spangly butterflies with streamers and everything. He must have gotten in trouble or something and that was his penance. More effective than the stocks, I'd say.

Four and a half weeks of classes. Rock!

I will prevail

2006-04-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

We've had some pet adventure hereabouts recently. Today, we picked up a schnauzer that decided that running across Grant would be a capital idea. We put up fliers for it, and the woman who owned her soon claimed her. Not before Jesse got all attached though. So, we went to the Humane Society to look at dogs and check on Jesse's allergy quotient to cats. I miss cats so much. I spent some time with Simba when I was at my parent's house last weekend. I have decided that I want to get a cat. I want a cat because regardless of what the popular opinion says, cats are still way better than dogs. The Humane Society had a really sweet cat named Boots that I liked. There would be some obstacles, but I am undaunted. Nothing shall stand in the way of me and my goal. Nothing I say. I shall be avenged! ...I mean, get a cat. I am a little put off by the $180 I'd have to pay for the adoption and the deposit.

Update: I coughed while snacking and ended up with half of a Cheez-It Twisterz going up my nasal passages. That totally sucked. It stings in there now.

A Grievance

2006-03-26T03:50:00.000-07:00

There's something that bothers me in relation to Facebook. Let's put aside for a moment that it's a complete and utter waste of time as well as being little more than stalker's directory. My beef is relatively minor, but reflects something a whole lot bigger. It bothers me when people list The Bible under their favorite books. I'd be willing to bet vital parts of my anatomy that a very low percentage of the people who credit this sacred text as one of their favorite reads has actually read much of it. Because let's be honest, who reads the Bible anymore? It's a lot easier to take whatever anyone in the clergy says at face value and stick with the populist view of Christianity. Why would someone claiming a religion actually read what it's actually about? That's just damned crazy talk. The bottom line: don't list the Bible as a favorite book. I'm sure you enjoyed Harry Potter or The Da Vinci Code a lot more than the handful of verses you read when you were still going to church.

A smash hit

2006-03-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Last semester I joined a fiction club. It was an informal meeting every other week that three people (including myself) from my fiction class went to. This semester it came about that we wanted this club made official. We are now recognized by the ASUA and get all the perks of being an official club. It's not as exciting as it sounds; all we get is a room to meet in and a listing in the clubs. Well, for the first few meeting we had, it was just me as the Treasurer and Virginia as the President. Some club, eh? This week, however, marked an exciting new chapter. It was the second meeting in a row that people other than the two of us showed up to. Watch out English & Creative Writing Club, we's gonna kick you in the buttocks. Thickening Plots all up in the hizzy.