I haven't subjected y'all in a while

...so here's one of my poems I wrote for my poetry workshop. It's kind of an odd one. It started out as being about this website that is supposed to send out letters in the event of the Rapture. It morphed, as all my poems are like to do, and here is the result:

“Soul Slaw”

I’ve always pictured the antichrist
looking something like Bob Dylan on
the Blonde on Blonde album cover
except with a spangly stick used
to curse the nations of the world.

I bet that spangly stick
would fetch a pretty
sumptuous price on eBay, if I could just get my hands
on it.

That’s where I got the swastika
tattoo I use as a conversation starter.
I usually keep it
on my arm, but I wear it on my forehead
when I go out to meet woman looking for
a good time
or big, burly, bald men looking for
a hate crime.

I like my hate crimes best
with a side of slaw.
There really is nothing quite like
getting back home after a night of beating
and bashing to a ten gallon
tub of slaw waiting
to be eaten and bathed in.
A baptism in slaw
would be the thing, I think,
that would take away the sins of the world.

The baptism fonts ought to be filled
with the sin-absolving slaw, and the world
could be made right.
And in it’s new rightness, the world could
once again fall from grace at the cost
of $19.99 a month with access to dozens
of adult websites.


And you saw it first here, folks.