My Geosciences Notes for Today

Today I was a very responsible and diligent student, and took some serious notes that were very thorough. I can make plate tectonics fun! Here's a sample:

It is cold in here. I am cold. [Bryan: It's not cold.] You lie. You lie like and lying liar. I am also tired. There needs to be food in my belleh. I might just have to bust out my emergency rations. I could really go for a sammich right about now. A sammich with salami. Genoa salami. Mit der mustard. Yurms!

Knowledge! That was science, just then. We have learned science. We are scientists. The Earfs are moving.

i r the earth. i r serious planet.

[Something about ridges] Ruffles have ridges, too. Har har… “rigid.” Turgid.

[On the PowerPoint] A VISCOELASTIC SOLID. NOT LIQUID!! (That is vurry importint to know. Distinction!)

Just say “no” to Comic Sans. [Which a college professor has used for her notes presentation]

She says “may-zure.” Measure. May-dzure.

South America is faster than us. They’s be getting’ uppity.

My nipples are starting to become an immediate concern. Had to zip up the jacket. I could direct the PowerPoint with those bad boys.

Tonga. Tonganese. Polynesian. Islands. Eye lands. The land of tonganese eyes.

I r learning plake tectonics!

The asthenosphere is a viscoelastic solid; it is so totally not a liquid. That’s just being straight ig’nint, dog.

There are also Vikings [in Iceland]. Vikings who enjoy the rejuvenating feeling they receive from a nice soak in the natural hot springs. Geolog-tastic refreshment!

A continental rift is the solution to illegal immigration. Protect our borders!! Geology is on America’s side. It wasn’t at first, but then the Freedom Eagle™ laid a bit of the “smack” down.

I will relax in the last few minutes. It would be easier for me to relax if I could enjoy a refreshing soak with a Viking. If they could soak so nicely, why is it that they raped and pillaged so much? I bet all they would have needed was a good masseuse. Rub that stress out, you hulking lug, you. It’s also weird that people from the Scandinavian area are pretty much the nicest people you’re ever gonna meet. That’s hope for the descendants of the people who raped and pillaged America. Maybe we’ll be charming one day.
Though, I think YouTube is going to prevent that from ever happening.

Chilean. Chillin’. Chill-eh-in. You be illin’. You tell it like it is Run DMC, you tell it like it is.

RING OF FIRE!

Now you know about plate tectonics, too. I have have imparted science to you. Can you feel it? That wonderful swarmy feeling in your brainpan? That is science squirming around in there.

You are welcome.