...some couples may wonder if it is appropriate for a wife to fist her husband if he enjoys anal stimulation. In most cases, a wife indulging her husband’s desire to receive light anal play is not problematic in the context of a healthy sexual relationship. A wife may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys this, and if their respective roles as husband and wife are secure outside of the bedroom.
However, because of the intense nature of the act of fisting and the degree of surrender and submission involved in being fisted, a couple should first look deeply into their own hearts and pray for guidance as to whether it is wise for the wife to fist the husband. They should undertake this only if their relationship is such that the husband can assume a submissive and passive role during a sexual act, while afterward still maintaining his role as the spiritual head of the household and leader in the marriage. Our article on Christian BDSM also addresses this issue.
I seriously could not make this stuff up. Make sure to check out the other articles on there as well. It is seldom that I have no words. This is one of those times.
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After my first time reading it, my initial thought was, "I should have guessed somewhere out there there was an article like this...and where does Ryan find 'classic' stuff like this????". After the second time reading through just the fraction you posted (yes I had to read it twice!), what really bugged me (you know besides the fact that some poor middle aged housewife might be taking this advice seriously to heart) is how the man is automatically deemed the spiritual head of the house and the leader of marriage. It's amazing how the feminist in me, who is usually a laxxxx observer, will suddenly burst to life because of something so silly. I purposely will refrain from specifically addressing the fisting subject because...BECAUSE! (I'm obviously not to the point of intelligence where I can functionally speak about just anything...)
Sorry for this bizarre comment to follow the bizarre article
Anonymous-san
p.s. You're a great creative thinker, I'm sure you could write up something equally as mind-boggling and wtf as that :)
Where do I find this stuff indeed? I suppose I've just positioned myself where I can pick out all the bizarre stuff I see out of the run-off of the internet. I do tend to keep an eye out for the particularly goofy religious stuff like this. It entertains me to no foreseeable end.
And if I was to be married, I couldn't bother with maintaining dominance all the time (besides I'm just a naturally submissive person). I mean let's face it, I'd be spending so much time telling my woman what's what, I would have no time for any other pursuits. That is, unless, I developed an automated system, something akin to those electric collars for dogs to stop their barking. I could even market it to the evangelical crowd. “Is your wife uncomfortably independent? Does she insist on being a part of the household decision making process? Does she second guess your decisions? Well, you need the Uppity Bitch Collar! Sure she was a nice, submissive lass when you married her, but now she’s been influenced by the godless, bra-burning, hairy-legged, man-hating lesbo-feminists of the liberal, Jew run media. The UBC is guaranteed to her down a peg or two. Our special design detects rebellious thoughts and quells them with a mild but effective dose of God’s righteous anger. That’ll teach for not checking with you! Wife tested, Jesus approved!” I could make a friggin’ fortune as well as keep the old lady in check.
I did have a rather interesting discussion about he logistics of fisting with my roommate and his girlfriend. Personally, I'm surprised that the article didn't include that after the couple prays for God's guidance, hat they should administer a warm water enema, so the fister doesn't get their hand all covered in morally upright excrement. But maybe that's a sin. Everything about the body is pure and all that. I have a hard time keeping track of these things.
"Personally, I'm surprised that the article didn't include that after the couple prays for God's guidance, hat they should administer a warm water enema, so the fister doesn't get their hand all covered in morally upright excrement."
I was Santaliciously jolly upon reading your last response, it was an actual candid laugh out loud moment.
Not that it's criteria for scoring 100 cool point, but I'm impressed that someone knows what a warm water enema is!
Bravo for your idea "Uppity Bitch Collar." Make sure to get a patent ASAP or I might be tempted to put it on the market myself ;)
And thank you for your posts, they have very much what I need nowadays... though I'm not as lucky as you to have anyone whom I would readily discuss fisting with, I hope it's okay I find them enjoyable on my own.
And in case you ARE wondering, I am not a creepy panty-less man who lives in a hut in the woods.
Anonymous-san
See, now you've gone and disappointed me. Here I was hoping you were a creepy, panty-less man who lives ina hut in the woods. Life can be such a letdown sometimes. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go binge and purge to rid myself of my sorrow. If only my heart was as easy to fill as my stomach...
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