Persona Happenings

I had a slight let-down tonight. I was not voted into the Junior Editor position that I was running for. It's a bummer, but I secured Assistant Copy Editor. I mostly just wanted to get involved in the workings of the club, so I'm pleased even if I didn't get the job I wanted. That's the peril of running against an officer veteran, I suppose. Besides getting my antisocial bumparts involved in something, I get 3 units of upper-division credit to boot. That means I can decrease my course load during one semester next year. I'll probably drop a class from the Fall semester since there's one English class I didn't want to take in the first place. Hooray for 12 units.

Even though no one else was running for Assistant Copy Editor, I think what really secured my winning it was me saying, "I'm used to being a bitch-boy. I was one at my last job" during my pseudo-speech. I am a bitch-boy. I could be your bitch-boy.

There Are No More Heroes

It is very seldom that the death of anyone, especially a public figure, moves me to any kind of emotion. When a public figure dies, it's usually expressed that the death of anyone is sad. I disagree. Death is not sad in the way that most people wish it to be sad. It's a very selfish emotion, really. It affects us to the extent that we will miss the person that is now gone. Death is not sad. Life, I think is sadder than death. Life is sad because there is so often no point when there ought to be.

My selfish emotion is in response to the death of my hero. It was one of my cherished dreams to meet him someday just so he could tell me I didn't know anything. He chain smoked for decades and died because of brain injuries from falling. It's an ironic death that I think he would have appreciated. I ought to say something personal about how I am a better person for reading his work and have a better understanding of my relation to humanity and the world, but I don't think he ever wanted people to be like him. Sometimes I feel like I think he must have that life would be better if we couldn't recognize just how wrong things are. "Life is no way to treat an animal," as it were. And because it's what he would want to be said about him:

Kurt Vonnegut is up in heaven now.

So it goes.

Re: Can't Tell the Difference

I think I give people too much credit. That sounds odd coming from me, but I really do. Today I made a stop to deposit some yellow before meeting with my Milton professor. On the wall above the, ahem, "ATMs" there were some tags, and this addition: "TAGGERS R GAY" with a darling little arrow. I thought that was pretty ironic, and I had to catch myself because I had been thinking that the person who wrote it understood the irony of his actions. I have no way of knowing one way or the other, but it seems far more likely to me that the guy scrawled it up there without appreciating the irony of his actions.

But that's what's tricky about irony. It can be hard to distinguish without context. Like does Alanis Morissette know that most of the stuff she mentions in "Ironic" are not actually ironic and is she being ironic because of it? This is the web I'm tangled in with the "My Boobs are Okay" video I posted last week. I think I might be giving her too much credit, but then I realized that the song is essentially a remaking of "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Observe:



So is the crazy Norwegian girl making a commentary on the glorification of that kind of behavior, or is it just in the same vein? My brain is so whacked-out on literature right now that I have no idea. It's highly probable that I'm simply looking at it too hard and seeing something that isn't there.

As bonus fun, I offer this lovely (and real) commentary on the attitude "My Humps" praises. It's amazing how all credibility in the lyrics is lost when they're slowed down and articulated. Oh those crazy feminists and their "ideas" about "equality" and "not selling your body like a socially sanctioned prostitute." They're so quaint. I mean, seriously, when was the last time one of those types got laid? I'm going to have to quote me some Chasing Amy when I say, "All every woman wants, be it mother, senator, or nun, is some serious deep dicking." Think on that for a moment as you watch this "My Humps" parody:

I'ma Gonna Be a Bridesmaid!

Or as my sister calls it: a bridesboy. I mentioned earlier that my sister Amanda got engaged to her man-type. Well, she called me on Sunday to ask me if I wanted to be a part of the wedding party, specifically if I would be one of her bridesmaids. I, of course, said yes. Seriously, I'm out of theatre now, so my opportunities for dressing up in a dress all pretty without people throwing garbage at me have been drastically (and unfortunately) reduced.

They'll be getting married in the fall (October 25 if I recall correctly). It should be fun. I haven't been to many weddings.

I'm still in negotiations with her about dress color and style (I would like something that shows off my lovely lady lump), free license for hairdos, and the open bar situation.

A Cop-out/Blatantly Atheistic Easter Post

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I hope everyone fulfilled the true spirit of Easter and had some rousing shag sessions. Of course using condoms and/or birth control does violate the spirit of a fertility festival. So, I hope y'all enjoyed your non-fertile spring festival. And a Happy Belated Equinox!

A Disturbing Similarity

There's construction going on at UMC right now that's right on my route to go from the lab to the main hospital. I pass by the site almost every day. Today, I saw a pile of stuff on the site. It contained: a flannel shirt, gloves, a big thermos, a lunch box, and several things I couldn't identify. Then I looked over into the rest of the site and saw a construction worker wearing: a helmet, a handkerchief under the helmet covering his neck, stained and worn-out jeans, a worn-out hoodie, and one of those reflective vest dealies.

I asked myself: what other profession do these two sights bring to mind? The answer seemed obvious to me: a homeless person. Now, I don't mean to conflate the two because only one group provides a viable service. In case you couldn't figure it out on your own, I'm talking about homeless people. The provide an indispensable service to any community they're in.

Let's face it, if there we no homeless people, how would we be able to practice lying convincingly. Without the repeated practice of "Sorry, I don't have any change" and "Oh, I don't carry cash. I only use plastic," we would never be able to work up to more important lies. I'm pretty sure society would break down without these intrepid individuals taking one for the team. So next time someone gets up in arms about homelessness being a problem, you should say, "Homelessness is essential to our way of life! And I absolutely did not sleep with your wife." You'll be golden. And don't forget to thank the stinky guys by "accidentally" dropping some money by them some time. We can't let them think we'd give it to them willingly or they might be inspired to turn their lives around and get jobs and stuff. We certainly can't have that if we want to maintain our comfortable way of life.

Can't Tell the Difference

Do you ever find yourself faced with something where you can't tell if it's brilliant or mind-numbingly stupid? This is how I feel about this video. I'm not sure if it's making a serious social point about that endearing class of women that survive on their physical appearance or if it's glorifying that behavior as a right and privilege of being an attractive woman.

I felt the same way about some of the submissions I read for Persona this semester. Without context, I couldn't tell if the pieces were fabulous or inane drivel. It's amazing how close those two are when operating in satire. There's a fine distinction between the model and the actual object. So what's the reality? Once they start imitating one another, that distinction blurs. Then we get Hyperreality.

Thank you Baudrillard for keeping me from believing that anything actually exists. Thanks a ton. You know what, Baudrillard? YOU don't exist! How do you like that, huh? That's right, you're dead, so there. That makes me the winner by default on account of dead philosopher.

Where's my medal?

My Dream April Fool's Joke

I thought of the ultimate April Fool's Joke today. It would involve massive coordination, extensive persuasive skills to get people to play along, and for me to be the head of NASA.

I would make a press release on April 1st revealing that the first moon landing was, indeed, a hoax. The others were genuine, but that first one was faked. There would be a sincere apology on behalf of NASA, and an appeal for understanding of the situation at the time. The competition with the Russians was fierce and a desire not to let the promise to JFK go unrealized.

The moon hoax loons would go ape shit bananas. I think most would realize the gag, as most people do on April 1st, but perhaps some would believe it. And that would be a beautiful thing.

Now I just need to become the director of NASA.

Now I Can See the Resemblance

I've never seen a Virgin Mary or Jesus sighting in food/oil/building windows/doors/clouds that couldn't be attributed to pareidolia. UNTIL NOW! I really think Jesus is trying to tell us something here. To make a life-size appearance in chocolate like this is incontrovertible evidence that Jesus has something to say to us. (I guess he doesn't realize that we have cell phones now, but who am I to criticize the preferred communication method of the Son of the Lord God Almighty?)


Ooooooooor.... there's a sculptor that has the Christ Camp (mostly the Catholics) all in a huff in the lead-up to Easter with this exhibit. I say they ought to be flattered. I mean, if I was to sculpt their deity out of something brown, it sure wouldn't be out of a material as tasty and pleasantly aromatic as chocolate (if you catch my meaning). Besides, with all the creepy sexual connotations to the Christian worship tradition, I would think they'd be happy to finally get a peak at the holy package.

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People and Things

A big problem that many people have with divine justice is summed up in the question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" This moral indictment of God's sense of justice has been repeated so many times that I've gotten completely sick of it.

What we ought to be asking is "Why do good people happen to bad things?" Did any of you whiners ever stop to consider what it's like for the bad thing to have a good person thrust upon it? I bet you didn't, you inconsiderate bastard. That bad thing may have had serious plans for happening to a bad person, and now it's been deprived that. All that preparation, work, self-sacrifice, and dreaming have gone to waste on account of that good person. It's a real shame, but not as big of a shame as the whole lot of you not realizing that.