When I Die...

China acts on funeral strippers

Five people have been detained in China for running striptease send-offs at funerals, state media say.

The once-common events are held to boost the number of mourners, as large crowds are seen as a mark of honour.

But the arrests, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, could signal the end of the rural tradition.

Local officials have since ordered a halt to "obscene performances" and say funeral plans have to be submitted in advance, Xinhua news agency said.

The arrests, in Donghai county, followed striptease acts at a farmer's funeral, the agency said.

Two hundred people were said to have attended the event, which was held on 16 August.

The Beijing News said the event was later revealed by a Chinese TV station. The leaders of five striptease troupes were held, it said, including two involved in the farmer's funeral.

"Striptease used to be a common practice at funerals in Donghai's rural areas to allure viewers," Xinhua agency said.

"Local villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more the dead person is honoured."

As well as ordering an end to the practice, officials have also said residents can report "funeral misdeeds" on a hotline, earning a reward for information.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/5280312.stm

Nice Guys

I'’m sure you'’ve heard the saying/Green Day song "“Nice Guys Finish Last." In terms of dating, this seems to be the case. At least from my limited experience. Have you ever stopped to ask why this is? The self-proclaimed nice guy will tell you that girls prefer dating the jack-offs. I disagree. I'd like to give the fairer sex a little more credit than that.

Here'’s my explanation of the phenomenon: the jack-off asshole actually asked her out. Imagine that, taking the initiative. So as long jack-off assholes are out there asking out girls and the "“nice guys"” remain mostly spineless pansies, the trend will continue.

What'’s really sickening is that some of the creepier "nice guys" think that somehow they're entitled to a girlfriend/poon just because they'’re supposedly nice.

What is "“nice"” anyway? Here are a few definitions from dictionary.com

- Pleasing and agreeable in nature
- Exhibiting courtesy and politeness
- Of good character and reputation

Okay, that's all well and good. However, don'’t you think it's better to be "kind"?

-• Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature.
-• Showing sympathy or understanding; charitable
- Humane; considerate
- Forbearing; tolerant
- Generous; liberal
-• Agreeable; beneficial

I personally think the latter is preferable. Niceness is a description of behavior, while kindness reflects a genuine goodness of being.

There's really more to it than this, but it's just something I've noticed since high school. I bet you were expecting a lament based on the title of the post, weren't you? I like to mix things up.

There was a time that I did bitch about it, but then I pulled my head out of my ass. How great would it be if others could do the same?

Fall Semester..... COMMENCE!

I started my third year at the Ivory Tower today. It's kind of strange to think I'm halfway done with my undergraduate degree. It's bound to be an interesting semester with the load I'm taking on. There's the 19 units, the 25-30 hours a week working two jobs, wanting to squeeze in some rock climbing trips, and most importantly trying to find time to spend with a certain someone. So that's all very joyous. I'll either learn to manage my time or start chowing down speed.

I put down the deposit on my car today. Within a week or so I'll officially purchase my '98 Honda Accord. I had been looking at a Nissan Sentra, but after consulting someone who knows a whole hell of a lot more about cars than I do, changed my mind. As it turns out, Nissan Sentras do not hold their value very well at all. It would be worth half as much in about three years. So I decided to go with the Honda. All told, it's going to cost me a shaving over $7500. It's actually all working out very nicely. I have had no hassle whatsoever about anything so far. It's been an enjoyable experience.

Currently, I'm sitting in Old Engineering 318, wheedling away my first shift of the semester at OSCR. There is no one in the lab. I also am hungry, thirsty, and have to pee. That'll all have to wait until after 10 when my shift is over.

If Parents aren't afraid of you influencing their children, you're doing something wrong

I was using the paper shredder today at work, and I thought of a really great title for a porn movie. Like all great porn movies, this would be a niche production. "What niche?" I hear the droves ask. Well, it's for transgender emo porn. The title is based on a popular 80's song by Cutting Crew. It's going to be called I Just Hermaphro-Died in Your Arms Tonight. Can you picture it? Chicks with dicks writing weepy poetry about the entropy of society and how no one understands their surprise penis, all while taking it right up their ruby starfruit.

I have a vision.

Les sigh

I'd been thinking about quitting my job at the radiology lab. I was torn though because I knew the responsible thing to do would be to keep the job. Bills need to be paid after all. I came to a decision. Pending me finding some awesome job that pays more than Radiology does, I'm going to stick it out. Sometimes I hate having to do the grown-up thing.

Do you want to go on a Child Molestation Ride? I mean, Magic Carpet Ride?

Have you ever noticed when someone you don’t like and/or truly despise likes something that you do, it makes you want to like it less? There’s no logical reason for it that I can think of. I can only think of one example of this at the moment. It is as follows:

I really like the movie The Boondock Saints. It’s violent, smart, and has a moral ambiguity that I find very interesting. (Even though I do think anyone who kills in the name of religion/god is crack-alack in the head a little bit.) Well, a while ago when the slut-ho-bitch, I mean Mel, was living here, she and her friend were watching said awesome movie downstairs.

Nothing changed about the movie, nothing at all. It’s some kind of weird reaction that I don’t understand. The movie is still great. And I guess the moral of the story is that slut-ho-bitches can like great movies too.

**

Hello, I’m Bob Barker. Please have your slut-ho-bitches and man-whores spayed or neutered. Do it for the ignorant, drain on society children they should never be allowed to have. Thank you, and goodnight.

PS- Have you also noticed that "molestation" is spelled like "mole station." Someone ought to investigate the connection.